Remember three things

1. Impermanence surrounds us 

2. There is nothing wrong with this moment.

 3. Gratitude

When we used to go to the Zen Buddhist Temple in our hometown, the resident priest would often begin our meditations with the following statements above. I take great comfort in them when I find myself going through difficult times.

In May we lost our beloved cat Milo to congestive heart failure. As my wife wrote in her beautiful post on the subject of Milo's passing:

Milo’s heart was probably weakened because it was so full of love to give.  In the end, it simply couldn’t contain it all, and he had to depart us, leaving all that love to burst out and into the world.

This was a disorienting moment in our lives as Milo was such a part of our family. Grasping for some kind of stability, I remembered:

1. Impermanence surrounds us - each moment passes and then is done. Our lives are like pages written live in a book; you may go back to see where you have been, but it's no longer being written to at that point - only in the moment; the future is full of blank pages, how many we'll never know. So it comes that any pleasant situation we find ourselves in ends; anyone or anything we love, eventually is no longer with us in a physical sense. It is also true that when we find ourselves in difficult moments, those too pass; and new beings can enter our lives and bring us much joy. Ultimately, we are never stuck and we are never limited to living a life that stops at one particular point of time.

2. There is nothing wrong with this moment - if you're reading this, you're breathing. You're still alive. Even if you are in pain, if you break time down to the individual moment, you have survived each moment of pain. If you can survive one moment, you can survive the next. In the days and weeks after Milo's passing, when it was all I could do to stop from sobbing at my desk, I would comfort myself knowing that I would be able to get through the loss moment by moment.

3. Gratitude - if everything that brings us comfort and joy passes and everything that brings us pain and sorrow passes too, and if we can recognize that when we look at it moment by moment, we're doing ok, then we can be truly grateful to have had our wonderful experiences and likewise equally grateful that those experiences we wish to pass at some point will.  I am grateful for Milo's luminous presence, for his memory that lives on. I am grateful that I was able to remember these three things.

On being somewhere, metaphysically

“Mindful among the mindless, awake while others dream, swift as the racehorse, he outstrips the field.” – The Dhammapada, the sayings of the Buddha, Wakefulness

Working in a cube farm, I hear the occasional conversation in which I am not a participant. Usually I block this out with headphones, ear plugs, or by screaming and banging my head against the wall.  I tend to ignore the chatter, but the particular words I heard this morning, spoken over a cell phone to an unseen colleague, was the phrase: “Are you somewhere physically?”
I was thinking the more relevant question would be: “Are you somewhere metaphysically?” And by this I mean, are you aware of  yourself and the space around you and the interactions you are having with your environment.  More plainly, “Are you paying attention?”
I bike to work on a daily basis through a small city and a large university campus. Today I passed a guy who was walking his dog while smoking a cigarette and talking his phone.

What I notice is that more and more people, while physically present, are not there at all. They are listening to iPods and talking on cell phones and texting. Not just the ones who are walking, but drivers as well. Indeed, every time I am stopped at an intersection, I can almost count on the driver of the car stopped next to me to be reading their email/facebook/text message. I pass by countless pedestrians who have no idea that I went by.
Often, I feel invisible, and actually ride as if I am. I expect people to not be paying attention, in doing so, can prevent accidents by responding accordingly.
Sometimes I wish that it was as easy as people wearing shirts or having cars with flashing lights that signified that they were not paying attention.

The fact is that it is really hard to not be constantly thinking about the past or the future as opposed to the now. Even without the additional distractions that modern electronics afford us. Being in the moment is not something that comes easy to us. But just because it isn’t easy doesn’t mean it isn’t important. In fact, the harder something is to achieve, the more important that thing usually is.
Except when you get stuck on the same level in Angry Birds for months on end. When you finally get it, you still haven’t really achieved anything. Sorry.

So if our default is to be distracted, and mindfulness is difficult, how do you start?

1. Slow down
2. Let thoughts come and go, don’t try to stop them, but don’t linger on them either
3.  Do one thing at a time, and focus on that one thing when you’re doing it
4. Start small, like noticing your inhalations and exhalations
5. Don’t judge yourself
Try this for 10 minutes today and see what happens. You won’t regret it.

On clickers, jerkers, dancing bears and starting over

“We are what we think…with our thoughts we make the world.” – The Dhammapada (The sayings of the Buddha): Choices

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a post. Life has its ebbs and flows and for me, my focus this winter has been on starting over. What I mean is taking things I have been doing, looking at how I have been doing them, and when possible, taking a few steps back and learning how to do them better.  So for the past few months I have been learning to swim like a swimmer instead of a spaz, running like a gazelle instead of an elephant, playing agility with more clarity and connection, and in general, learning to be a better dog trainer and student of animal behavior. 

And now, as spring begins, I am ready to restart dharmaspoon. And in the spirit of starting over, I’ll be working my way through the passages of the Dhammapada in order.

Today’s quote is from Choices.  Essentially it about how we actively create the world we see around us, choosing what we see and how we react.

A common theme throughout the Dhammapada is one of dichotomy: Wakefulness vs Sloth, Love vs Hate, Wisdom vs Foolishness, Unity vs Separation.

I mentioned that I have been working on becoming a better dog trainer. To that extent, I recently, along with dharmaspoon gal, Maebe and Cadence, attended a three day animal behavior conference that focuses on the science of operant conditioning using positive reinforcement.  Basically it’s about how to create conditions in which a dog, dolphin, horse, third grader, spouse, neighbor, etc.,  does what you want them to do and in doing so is rewarded and is thus likely to repeat the behavior to the point where you can, through a signal or cue, cause the behavior to happen when signaled. There is no punishment. There is no coercion. The conference is known as Clicker Expo, the clicker being the tool most often used used to mark the behavior to be rewarded.

The attendees of this conference form one part of another dichotomy:

Clicker trainers (those who use positive reinforcement exclusively) vs Jerkers (those who use punishment, jerking on leashes, etc.)

 

The keynote speaker of the conference was famous behaviorist and author, Dr. Patricia McConnell.  Patricia closed out the conference with a lecture on the emotions of animals. In her final comments, she proposed final dichotomy:

Those who find comfort and solace in the idea that humans and the rest of the world are connected in many ways, including emotion and cognition vs those who find the blurring of the lines between humans and the rest of the animal world a frightening prospect.

You can guess which way I choose to see the world on that one.

Speaking of choosing to see, Kathy Sdao, one of the speakers at the conference gave an excellent talk on the topic of seeing behaviors, which is key to training, because if you can’t see the behavior (or more importantly it’s precursors), you can’t reward the behavior (either at all or on time).   Kathy challenged the group with a number of video tests to highlight the importance of being clear about what you’re looking for, lest you don’t see it. One of my favorite tests is presented below. See if you can pass:

 

So we see what we expect to see, don’t see what we don’t expect to see, so keep that in mind when you make your choices about how you view the world.

On choices and what we can learn from the tragedy in AZ

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.  With our thoughts we make the world. "

– Dhammapada, the sayings of the Buddha, verse on Choices

The world we live in is a mirror of how we view it. We each have a different set of “facts” we go by. Some may see the world as a scary place in which we need to constantly defend ourselves against various enemies.  Others see the world as a place that is mostly fine, aside from the threat that people who see the world as a scary place in which the need to constantly defend themselves will somehow go too far.

Our world view often draws us to seek out experiences (conscious or not) that resonate with us.  From the same set of facts, I’d say that half of my friends are outraged by how they are reported on FOX on a daily basis, while the other half have the same reaction listening to the NPR representation. The problem with either of these scenarios is that we’re getting worked up over something we’ve made up (or have bought into).  

As a story of heartbreaking violence emerged in the last week, so has a discourse around political rhetoric (what many initially attributed as the catalyst) and untreated mental illness  (what is more likely the issue). 

We can fixate on these two things, or we can remember another part of the episode;  the immediate reaction to violence; the crowd who subdued the shooter at great personal risk; the first responders, heroes who did what they could to save who they could; those who held vigil at the shooting site. These people, for that moment, chose to see through the illusion of separateness from others. And so can we.

On renewal

It is the start of a New Year, time once again, to cycle through the calendar. There was a January 1 last year, too, and the year before, and the year before that and so on, but each of those days were experienced differently, as is each moment.
As many of you know, I read one passage from the Dhammapada every day.  There are only 26 passages to read, so I re-read the same passage about 14 times a year, yet every time, it is a different, yet rewarding experience.
Today’s reading was from Flowers and the line that has stuck with me today is this: “Look to your own faults, what you have done or left undone. Overlook the faults of others.”
I think about how much time and energy people waste getting caught up in what other people do, getting upset about this and that, all the while, not subjecting themselves to the same scrutiny.
Personally, I find it very easy to join the ranks of the peanut gallery, the armchair quarterback, and worse. When I read this line, it reminds me to worry about myself, my actions, my thoughts, my beliefs. When I do remember to do this, whatever angst is caused by focusing on the faults of others melts away. Often, when I submit myself to the same scrutiny, I find myself guilty of the same things I’m judging someone else for, which is great, because it both keeps me honest, helping me identify when there is a gap between how I would like to act and how I have acted and it also helps me have compassion for the person who was initially the target of judgment.
So in the New Year, if you experience a moment where you find yourself  judging, try learning from it, and letting it go. You may be surprised and how much better a year you can have.

On Impermanence (Thoughts during a sick day)

“For behold your body, how frail it is! It sickens and festers and dies. Like every living thing, in the end, it sickens and dies.” – The Dhammapada (Old Age)

Near our house is a railroad bridge and on the side of one of  the concrete pillars supporting the bridge, the local graffiti artists regularly use it as a canvas.  I took the above picture a month after the entire side of the pillar was painted black and then covered with multi-colored squares. 

A month later, graffiti appeared within many of the individual squares. The particular square I photographed both describes and is evidence of  the truth that all that exists also goes away; the truth of impermanence. 

The past few weeks have involved a running  injury, the loss of a loved one to natural causes, a near death experience for one of our cats, and a heck of a head cold.

Life is like weather and some days are sunny and 70 and others, not so much. We can get upset when the temperature plummets and the snow accumulates, or we can get out the skis and snowshoes.

The above quote from the Dhammapada is not fatalistic as one may first think, but instead asks invites us to remember that  things don’t last in the same state forever. So while it is true that when something good happens, that feeling will not always persist, it is also true that when something bad happens, that too, will not last.

The running injury will go away.  The loved one left behind the love she gave to her family and their memories of her, so in a way, she still lives on. The cat survived and indeed is purring again. The accident reminded us of the joy and comfort he brings us every day. And this head cold, this too shall pass. 

On giving thanks

“Do not turn away what is given to you, nor reach out for what is given to others…give thanks for what has been given you. However little. Be pure, never falter.” – Dhammapada

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am reminded of what I am most grateful for: my wife, our dogs, our family, our friends, our home, our health, and the life we have built. 

I am also most thankful for my readership, no matter how small. I truly hope you have found these pages enlightening and inspiring, that they have helped you think about your experiences in a different way. At the very least, I hope you’ve liked the pictures.

Thanksgiving marks the start of the holiday season. It can be a time of gratitude and reflection, or a time of restless want and missed expectations. I hope you remember that you have a choice in the matter and I wish you well as you enter the season.

On Wishlists

“Beware of thirstiness lest your wishes become desires and desire binds you.” – the Dhammapada (Desire)

“The more I have the more I think I’m almost where I need to be. If only I could get a little more.” - the Avett Brothers (Ill with want)

For most of the year, aside from the occasional bike or dog related product, I am fortunate enough to want for very little. In short, I want what I have and have what I want.

Then the ever expanding “Holiday season” comes upon us. It starts with the request for a wish list, which usually takes awhile for me to produce because it’s hard for me to think of things I want when I actually have everything that I want…until I’m forced to spend some time thinking about it…

It starts out modest…a pair of gloves, a set of tire covers for the camper, perhaps some headphones…

There’s the daily tweaking and expansion of the list (damn you Amazon Wish Lists for making it so easy!) until finally we end up with some high ticket items…

…high ticket, somewhat easy to rationalize items, like $150 running pants (ok, tights) that promise to improve performance, prevent injury, and aid recovery...

…which morphs until things like Kindles (damn you Amazon again, for your incessant marketing) and Wii games (for the high ticket item I didn’t need from a previous year)…

…and constant thoughts about what else should be in the list and what priority it should be…

…and the noticing of all of the things around the house that are no longer shiny and new…

…and then there is no way that you are going to get everything on your list because you got so greedy, but it’s on your list, so after the holidays, no matter how generous your family has been, there are still some things that you now “need” and so you spend money that could have been saved for the inevitable furnace repair or vet visit…

…but thankfully pretty early in the process I’ve caught myself and toned it down a bit…

…and have tried to focus on the practical and reasonably priced things…

…and maybe next year, my list can look like this:

1. Inner peace

2. Good health

3. Gratitude

4. A 56 Inch Internet Ready 3D HD LCD TV

On maintaining your criteria

“Do not make light of your failings, saying, ‘what are they to me?’ A jug fills drop by drop, so the fool becomes brimful of folly. Do not belittle your virtues, saying ‘they are nothing.’ A jug fills drop by drop, so the wise man becomes brimful of virtue.” – The Dhammapada

In agility, there are obstacles basically made from wooden planks that have yellow sections on both the point of entry and the point of exit. These yellow zones are known as contacts. The entry contact is called the up contact. The exit contact is the down contact. Depending on the venue you are competing in, the dog usually is required to touch the up contact and always is required to touch the down contact.
Touching the down contact has historically been a challenge for Team Maebe. We actually spent the better part of a year working on just that behavior, which she now understands, but has deteriorated during competition over time.
How did that happen? I was sloppy with my criteria.
Here is what she was supposed to do:
Run to the bottom of the obstacle with rear paws on the end of the contact and her front paws on the ground in front of the contact and stay there until released.
Here is what I allowed her to do over a long period of time:
In the excitement of competition, in going for what I wanted today vs what I wanted for good, the releases became shorter and shorter until there were none.
The consequence: Eventually that turned into missing the down contact all together.
So what did I do?
1. Acknowledged what I had done to cause the problem.
2. Made a commitment to accept nothing less than my criteria, which means:

a. If the rules of the particular run allow you to repeat the obstacle, I redo it until she gets it right.
b. If the rules of the particular run do not allow you to repeat, then I end the run.

3. Followed through on that commitment
The result:
Maebe missed her next contact. I made her run it again. She realized I was holding her to her criteria. She did not miss any contacts the rest of the trial.
The lesson:
Hold true to your criteria. If you make compromises regarding what is important to you long term in order to make a short term gain, you won’t achieve what you really want.

On going forward before the fear sets in

“Go beyond this way or that…without fear, go.” – Dhammapada

Last weekend we hit the trails on our mountain bikes. The trails we chose were on the site of a former tree farm. The ground was uneven, rooty, rocky. We like this trail because of its challenge. There are lots of tight twisty turns, steep hills, log and rock piles you need to traverse, and of course, “the crater”, which I’ll get to in a minute.

Mountain biking a technical trail is one of those things that the more you think about, the less likely you are to do, and the older you are, the less you are to do it, I think, for fear of getting hurt.

Children don’t generally have this problem. They go through their early part of life fearless, and for the most part, having more fun than the majority of adults.

Somewhere along the way, we learn to be afraid of things. While in some cases, that keeps us safe, more often than not, it actually holds us back.

This takes me to the crater, a feature of the trail that well, looks like somewhere a meteor hit- a bowl about the size of small house. If you are not expecting it, then you are just going along the trail when all of a sudden you find yourself at the precipice. It just appears. If you stop, you will spend a great deal of time looking at the drop. Wondering if people really do this. Picturing all of the ways it might go wrong.

When we came upon the crater on this last ride, there were the usual couple of riders peering over the edge. I know that I did that the first few times. I knew that this made it worse. So instead, I just pointed my bike straight, went over the edge, and came up the other side safe and sound.

We all have things in life that scare us to do and the more we think about them, the less we are likely to do them. When you reach that point, there is only one course of action to take:  without fear, go.

Here’s highlights from the trail by the way, taken from the internets:

On bees and bottles

“Desire is a hollow. And people say, ‘Look! He was free. But now he gives up his freedom.’” – the Dhammapada: Desire
Whilst enjoying lunch yesterday in an urban park with my wife and my good friend, a honey bee landed on my upturned bottle cap from my root beer. Our conversation kind of paused for a moment as we watched the bee drink a few drops of root beer that had collected on the surface of the bottle cap. It kind of looked like this:

*Note that this is not the actual bottle, but one I found on the internet. I was drinking root beer, but you get the point.
When the conversation resumed, some of my attention still remained on the bee. I watched as it flew into my nearly empty bottle, drank a bit, and then tried, unsuccessfully to exit the bottle.
Seeing the opportunity to help, I tipped the bottle so the bee could fly out, which it did, only to return to the bottom of the bottle minutes later. It made me think about people who go through cycles of consumption, remorse, abstention, and on back to consumption once the sting of whatever led to the remorse has faded. I think this cycle continues because the desire never goes away and what’s even worse, we’re not even aware that this is the case. Anyhow, I’m off to get some beer for the weekend…

On Joyful Competition

“Let go of winning and losing and find joy.” - Dhammapada

For Dharmaspoon Guy and family, this year has been particularly intense in terms of both the dog and human competitions. We have competed in about a dozen agility trials, 4 triathlons, 3 running races, and have at least another 4 agility trials and 2 or 3 running races to go.

Sometimes we have made it cleanly through agility courses and have earned placements and titles. Other times, it just wasn’t happen. Races resulted in personal bests and age group placements at times, and at other times, not.

Does it feel good to win? Of course it does! Is that why we compete? No*.

So why do we subject ourselves to getting up at ungodly hours on weekends when we can sleep in so that we can compete?

It boils down to three reasons:

1. We find joy in the activity

2. We find joy in testing ourselves to see where we are

3. We find joy in the preparation in between events

Everything else is just a bonus.

Often in competitions, we run into people who are in it just for the winning. In the world of dog sport, this is particularly pronounced. You can tell who they are, not by how well they do, although often they do excel, but by the lack of joy they seem to have. Over the weekend, I watched some of the top agility handlers in the nation yell at their dogs, yank them off the course for the slightest error, even if it was due to handling. What was interesting to me was that in a number of cases, these handlers were beat by people who, while not as well known, do their homework, and were competing for the right reasons: to have fun with their dog first, and to do the best they could do.

I think one of the best ways to have joy is to focus on what went right; your little victories. Nothing is all good or all bad. What you focus on, what you remember, and what you learn is what is important.

So, get out there, do your chosen activity, enter a competition, let go of winning and losing, and find joy.

*Well, sometimes we compete for cool prizes, like one of the toy VW Microbuses, shown here, which is up for grabs in this weekend’s Run Woodstock:

On Why I still have friends and you can too

“See yourself in others. Then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do?” – the Dhammapada

I was having a conversation the other day with someone about how they “defriended” one of their Facebook friends because of a series of increasingly intense posts the friend had made regarding current affairs that this someone found to be very offensive.

We have probably all experienced something similar – you meet someone, engage in an activity you both enjoy, and as you get to know them, they don’t meet some criteria on your internal “checklist” of the beliefs you think your friends should have.

This can cause a great amount of distress as you worry about being friends with “one of them.” You cling to that sense of separateness, otherness, and consciously or not, you drift away until you are no longer friends. Or, you try to change your friend’s mind. You try to convert them to your point of view. If only they could see the folly of their thinking. You have the FACTS. If only that person would listen.

Among my friends, some of whom share some beliefs I could not disagree with more, and who I would never dream of trying to “change”, I am lucky enough to say that we have all of these things in common:

We love our country

We desire safety and peace

We want what’s best for our friends and family

We love our dogs/families/friends

We share one or more common activities

We are led by principals

We want to do good in the world

When we focus on what we have in common, we can realize that we are lucky to have the friends we have, and appreciate them, and while we may not believe everything they believe, we do not have to define them or ourselves by our differences.

On Bicycle Safety and Letting Things Go

“Look how he abused me and beat me. How he threw me down and robbed me (and wrecked my bike). Live with such thoughts and you live in hate or abandon such thoughts and live in love.” – the Dhammapada

On July 31, 2009 as I attempted to cross an intersection at which I had the right of way, a dairy truck turned the corner in my direction. I had just enough time to get off my bike before it was crushed under the weight of the truck. I escaped with a minor scratch.

This is the truck that hit my bike. I still see it a couple of times each week:

An hour after the accident, I had my crushed bike and some dairy back at home:

This was my first “real” mountain bike. I had become quite attached to it. I had even made plans to upgrade it’s components in the following months.

It took many months before I finally was able to let the bike go:

It was a lesson in accepting the impermanence of all things.

I got a replacement bike pretty quickly:

 

For many months I seldom rode it.  I had loved biking. It was one of my joys in life. And at the time, I felt like it had been ruined for me.

I was angry at the driver. Angry at the loss of my bike. Angry about having something I enjoyed being “taken” away from me.

I let anger and fear keep me off my bike until one day, I had enough.  I spent an entire morning reading about bicycle safety and the state and local laws at they apply to bicycles.  I thought about the driver and how freaked out he was and how he confided in me that he thought he had killed me when he saw the bike under the truck. I let myself have compassion for him and just decided to let it go.

These two actions brought about a great relief. I wasn’t feeling like a victim any more. I also learned about what actions I could take to ride as safely as possible and what my rights were if something should go wrong again.

I ride with confidence now, and more safely too. For those of you who are interested in riding safely and confidently, this was the best resource that I found:

I am once again a happy, confident, and safe as can be biker:

And don’t worry, this picture was taken in an empty parking lot at low speed.

On Honking at Old Ladies

“The fool in his mischief forgets and he lights the fire in which one day he must burn.” – The Dhammapada

Yes, the dharmaspoon guy has stooped to posting a viral video to illustrate a point. A nice example of cause and effect. And for you skeptics, you are correct, this was staged. Part of a Swedish ad campaign for IKEA., apparently.

On Being Unplugged

“Do not live in the world, in distraction and false dreams…” – The Buddha

I biked to work this morning, like I do most mornings. This morning was a hot one, with the day predicted to get even hotter.

I climbed the three flights of stairs to my floor, sweating more than I care to think about given the absence of showers at my place of business.

I satdown in my chair and was about to “wake up” my sleeping laptop when I noticed this:

That is a picture of the empty dock where I was expecting my laptop to be.

Suddenly, I remembered where it was. I had worked from home yesterday and had managed to leave it there today. It was, ironically, in the same cabinet as my bike bag. In fact, I had to move the laptop out of the way this morning in order to get to it.

I contemplated biking back home, but the time required and the heat of the day compelled me to stay put. It was then that I started to wonder what a work day (well half a day, because I bike home for lunch) would be like without a computer.

I thought about what I use my computer for: email, setting up meetings, creating documents and searching for things on the internet. Yes, there’s the occasional Facebook, shopping and trip planning, but really, the bulk of my time is spent doing work.

No doubt, the computer is helpful, and I could not do my job without it. It does, however, have a downside; it demands constant attention and provides quite a lot of distraction; it encourages multi-tasking and the associated problem of doing a mediocre and inefficient job at many different things as opposed to focusing on doing a good job one task at a time. The biggest problem is that constantly being on the computer puts you in a reactive state of mind. You end up spending your time responding instead of thinking.

On this morning without a computer I have re-read my personal mission statement, values, roles and goals. I have reviewed my work objectives and have planned what I want to accomplish over the next week.  I am handwriting the draft of this very post with  a pen on paper and when I have my laptop back, I will type and publish it.  I am spending time thinking about what I want to accomplish and how I want to accomplish it.  Al in all, it has actually been a productive morning. 

Had to wrap this post up though because my smartphone was flashing that I had a message…

On Surrendering Your Beliefs

“The master surrenders his beliefs…” – the Buddha

When I read this passage, it made me think about how we often go through life based on assumptions about how things are or how they should be, and how little we question those beliefs, even when faced with evidence to the contrary.

It also made me think about an experience we had with our border collie puppy when we presented him with a new toy, a Kong Wobbler. The way it works is that you fill it with kibble and the dog is supposed to figure out that it needs to knock it until the kibble comes out of a small hole in the side.

This video, which is posted on my wife’s blog as well, is a prime example of what I’m talking about. Cadence has been taught the concept of indirect access…if he wants something, he can offer a behavior in order to get it instead of just running up and taking it directly. We encourage that behavior because it helps keep him safe and thinking. It is, however, only one way he can interact with the world. Another way is through the learning of actions and consequences. In this video, Cadence has to drop his belief that this is an indirect access exercise and figure out that instead that his task is actually to interact with the object in order to figure out what actions of his result in the consequence of kibble coming out. It was a joy to watch this process. I hope you think so too.

On Aspiration vs Expectation

This is Maebe. She is World Team fast. This has been a blessing and a challenge. A blessing because her natural drive, speed, intensity and love of the sport means she is capable of extraordinary things.  A challenge because it has also meant that I had no other option but to learn how to play the sport properly and to build the partnership necessary to compete as a team. I am actually very thankful for this challenge because it has forced me to become a better trainer and a better dog owner;  it has forced Maebe to learn to think on her own, to maintain focus, to figure things out.

Given our potential as a team, and some of our accomplishments in the couple of years we have been competing, I have to be diligent in not confusing my aspirations for the two of us with my expectations.

Charlotte Joko Beck says that Aspiration is “Our own true nature seeking to realize and express itself.” When I think if the journey that Maebe and I are on, it is one in which I want to enable us to develop as a team to the best of our ability.

Expectation is something different. It is built on ego. It is the voice that says, to quote Ricky Bobby, the fictional race car driver, “If you’re not first, you’re last.” It is the disappointment in not getting the Double Q; the bitterness over the dropped bar; the dissatisfaction with qualifying but not placing.

I was recently at a trial where I saw several different handlers pull their dogs off because of an off-course (which was due to poor handling). There were some handlers who packed up and left because they didn’t qualify after their first run. These handlers were clearly caught up in their expectations.

At the same trial, I saw handlers happy with their runs, regardless of whether the qualified or placed. Some of these handlers I have known for years and have witnessed their journey from having dogs they could barely control to becoming a team. I am on that same journey. What we have in common is that we all aspire to do the best we can, to learn from our mistakes, and to always keep in mind that regardless of the success or failure that we experience at a particular moment, we can always be satisfied.

On Reward and Punishment

“Reward and punishment is the lowest form of education” - Chuang Tzu
In our society, we place a lot of emphasis on rewards and punishment, especially, especially punishment.  We incarcerate the highest percentage of our population of any other nation. More than 1 in 37 Americans are currently incarcerated. In animal training, despite over 30 years of building scientific evidence that the technology of operant conditioning (in which the animal/person chooses a behavior that leads to a desirable consequence), this method is still a hard sell, as the idea that people/animals need to be controlled/dominated remains engrained.
The problem with the concept of reward and punishment is that it is determined by an outside force (God,  a parent, a dog owner, a police officer) that judges the behavior and then administers the reward/punishment.
In contrast choice and consequences empowers the individual person/animal to engage in a behavior, see what the consequences are, and then decide if the behavior is worth repeating.
We’ve been training our puppy lately to sit calmly on a mat during mealtime. We do not drag him to the mat, force him into a down, and yell at him if he gets up. We also do not start out with a pile of treats on the mat to lure him there and then every time he gets up, lure him back with more treats. Instead, we set up a situation where it is easy for him to choose to get on the mat, when when he chooses to do so, he gets a treat. He has quickly learned that the consequence of going to his mat is that there is a chance he will get a treat. He consistently chooses to go there.
I am personally drawn to Buddhism because it is about individual choices and the consequences of these choices. I can choose to let things bother me(or not). I can choose to do things I regret (or not).  My happiness is a direct result of my thoughts and actions, not by some outside force. This is what works for me. This is why I am a strong believer in positive training instead of punishment.
I choose to write this blog, not because of the possible reward of a “following.” Indeed, according to the latest statistics, I get about 1 reader a week who is not my wife or me. I write it because I enjoy the act of writing it and because I hope that I am able to offer perhaps a new way of looking at some of the things I think we all deal with.

Observations on three types of people who do stuff with their dogs

It is you who must make the effort. The masters only point the way. – The Buddha
If you don’t have the time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? – John Wooden
After 9 years of having dogs, this is the first year I am really starting to understand (A) what I am doing doing right, (B) what I am doing wrong (and what to do about it), and (C), what I need to be doing.
During this time I have become part of a larger community of people who like to do things with their dogs.  In some cases, I have been participating in the same activities with the same group of people and their dogs year after year. I have taken countless training classes, watched many training videos, attended many training seminars, read many books.
Recently, it has all started to sink in and I am taking my training much more seriously, working much more consistently, and having both positive results and fun in the process.
Among our cohort of dogs and handlers, I have noticed three groups:
1. Those who continue to learn, train, and develop their relationships with their dogs. This group focuses on getting it right, knowing that it will lead to results.
2. Those who dabble in training or thinking about training and just get by. These dogs do some to most of what they’re asked some or most of the time and never really seem to improve. This group focuses on getting results, often taking shortcuts that make it hard to perform consistently (or consistently well). These shortcuts only take the handler so far and in fact, end up costing time.
3. Those who do not take the time to train and while they love their dogs, are often frustrated by them and either do not understand why nothing is changing or why the dogs don’t just “get it” after all these years. 
If you’re in the third group, use your frustration to motivate you to learn more. Find the people who do well and find out what they’re doing that you’re not.
If you’re in the second group, practice what you know. Learn what you don’t. There are no shortcuts.
If you’re in the first group, share what you know, learn from those who know more than you, and remember that your work is never done.