"Never speak harsh words, for they rebound upon you." - The Buddha
"I'm rubber, you're glue, what ever you say to me bounces off me and sticks to you..." - Anonymous 2nd grader
When we think of violence, often images of physical aggression come to mind, yet on a daily basis, most of us refrain from actually striking someone. Yes, the thought might cross our mind, like when you're in a rush and the jackass in front of you is writing a check and you want to smack him upside the head and say "Can't you see I'm in a hurry, and who pays by check anymore?" Aside from the likely assault charge, for obvious reasons, that is not the way most of us choose to conduct our lives.
The violence we are likely to commit is through our speech. Is that guy paying by check really a "jackass." Did the person who cut you off really also have a history of having sexual relations with his mother? Are you really going to "Give your dog something to bark about" if he doesn't shut up? Do you feel any better after yelling at someone? You might in the short term, but in the long term, you have lost sight of what you and the other person (or dog) have in common, and of your own basic humanity. In this Dhammapada passage about violence, we are reminded that our actions have consequences: "the fool in his mischief lights the fire in which one day he must burn."
If we stop ourselves from blurting things out and instead seek to understand what is actually getting us upset and further if we can put ourselves in the other person's (or dog's shoes), we will not say something that we will regret. In our frustration, we need to remember to be "Like a broken gong, be still, be silent."
Please keep this in mind this holiday season when I am sure we will all have ample time to practice.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Mischief
"Be quick to do good. If you are slow, the mind, delighting in mischief, will catch you." - the Buddha
Be quick to reinforce good behavior. If you are slow, the dog, delighting in mischief, will eat your furniture. - dharmaspoon guy
When you have the opportunity to do good, no matter how little the action is, take it, for it all adds up. It could mean clearing your schedule to spend the day with a good friend who is having difficulty, putting a dollar in the Salvation Army kettle, or rewarding your dog when it is being good.
Likewise, when you have the opportunity to do harm, no matter how little the harm is, avoid it, for it all adds up as well. This could be telling a white lie, getting impatient, losing your temper with the dog when you don't think anyone is looking.
Our lives, and how we judge ourselves and how we are judged by others are the collection of our little actions. How happy we are and how happy we make those who are important to us are the direct result of our actions.
Be quick to reinforce good behavior. If you are slow, the dog, delighting in mischief, will eat your furniture. - dharmaspoon guy
When you have the opportunity to do good, no matter how little the action is, take it, for it all adds up. It could mean clearing your schedule to spend the day with a good friend who is having difficulty, putting a dollar in the Salvation Army kettle, or rewarding your dog when it is being good.
Likewise, when you have the opportunity to do harm, no matter how little the harm is, avoid it, for it all adds up as well. This could be telling a white lie, getting impatient, losing your temper with the dog when you don't think anyone is looking.
Our lives, and how we judge ourselves and how we are judged by others are the collection of our little actions. How happy we are and how happy we make those who are important to us are the direct result of our actions.
Monday, December 21, 2009
The Thousands
"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace."
If picture is worth a thousand words, may just one bring you peace (or at least produce a chuckle) during this hectic time of year...
If picture is worth a thousand words, may just one bring you peace (or at least produce a chuckle) during this hectic time of year...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The Master (and his dogma)
"The Master surrenders his beliefs..."
We often paint ourselves in a corner when we get too dogmatic. When we live by strict self imposed rules, we enter a closed-minded world of "no" and often don't see solutions to problems that are readily available when we open our minds. I am currently reading "The Art of Happiness" and there is a nice metaphor in there about how often we make ourselves a room and tell ourselves that the solution to any problem we are having must be in that room. In dog agility, for me, this means overusing certain handling maneuvers or discounting different ways of handling because they do not match the handling "system" I am learning. At work, it may mean coming up with different flavors of the same solution instead of something unique; "They're like Stummies, only bigger..." It may mean getting caught up in the "shoulds" and shouldn'ts of life: he shouldn't have talked to me that way. I should spend more time doing x, y or z. If you think to when you are unhappy or frustrated, you will probably find that the root of it is that things aren't going the way you wanted them to. Your experience didn't meet the expectation. You may not have control over what happens, but you absolutely have control over your expectations. There is more I can write about the relevance of clinging to dogma and it's impact on current events, but you get the point...
We often paint ourselves in a corner when we get too dogmatic. When we live by strict self imposed rules, we enter a closed-minded world of "no" and often don't see solutions to problems that are readily available when we open our minds. I am currently reading "The Art of Happiness" and there is a nice metaphor in there about how often we make ourselves a room and tell ourselves that the solution to any problem we are having must be in that room. In dog agility, for me, this means overusing certain handling maneuvers or discounting different ways of handling because they do not match the handling "system" I am learning. At work, it may mean coming up with different flavors of the same solution instead of something unique; "They're like Stummies, only bigger..." It may mean getting caught up in the "shoulds" and shouldn'ts of life: he shouldn't have talked to me that way. I should spend more time doing x, y or z. If you think to when you are unhappy or frustrated, you will probably find that the root of it is that things aren't going the way you wanted them to. Your experience didn't meet the expectation. You may not have control over what happens, but you absolutely have control over your expectations. There is more I can write about the relevance of clinging to dogma and it's impact on current events, but you get the point...
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Wise Man
"The wise man tells you where you have fallen, and where you may yet fall..."
In my case, I have 5 wise dogs who let me know on a daily basis how I am doing. One dog in particular, Maebe, is perhaps the wisest. When we play agility, her silence on the course means we are communicating. When my intentions for her are less clear, she falters, barks, and sometimes nips my knee to "encourage" me to let her know where exactly she is supposed to go next.
We all have people (and/or dogs) in our lives to let us know when we are stumbling. If we are wise, we will recognize the gift of feedback and instead of being defensive, we can show gratitude.
In my case, I have 5 wise dogs who let me know on a daily basis how I am doing. One dog in particular, Maebe, is perhaps the wisest. When we play agility, her silence on the course means we are communicating. When my intentions for her are less clear, she falters, barks, and sometimes nips my knee to "encourage" me to let her know where exactly she is supposed to go next.
We all have people (and/or dogs) in our lives to let us know when we are stumbling. If we are wise, we will recognize the gift of feedback and instead of being defensive, we can show gratitude.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Fool 2
"The fool who knows he is a fool is that much wiser."
Sometimes we do things that we regret, or at the very least, know aren't in our best interest, or in accordance to our values, but we do them anyway because they are the easy thing to do. We throw out what can be recycled, we step over the beggar in the street, we grab the barking dog by the collar and drag him off into his crate, buy things we shouldn't, eat too much, drink too much, forget to do the nice little things that show those around us how much we love them. I've sometimes done all of those things on one day, and boy is it exhausting. Becoming aware of doing these things goes a long way to becoming mindful of how you are living your life. My challenge to you as a reader is to think about what is important to you, to what you value and see if there is a disconnect between what you believe and how you act, and if there is, pick one thing that you can become more aware of and replace it with a behavior that is more in line with your own values.
Sometimes we do things that we regret, or at the very least, know aren't in our best interest, or in accordance to our values, but we do them anyway because they are the easy thing to do. We throw out what can be recycled, we step over the beggar in the street, we grab the barking dog by the collar and drag him off into his crate, buy things we shouldn't, eat too much, drink too much, forget to do the nice little things that show those around us how much we love them. I've sometimes done all of those things on one day, and boy is it exhausting. Becoming aware of doing these things goes a long way to becoming mindful of how you are living your life. My challenge to you as a reader is to think about what is important to you, to what you value and see if there is a disconnect between what you believe and how you act, and if there is, pick one thing that you can become more aware of and replace it with a behavior that is more in line with your own values.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Fool
"Does the spoon taste the soup? A fool may live all his life in the company of a master and still miss the way."
This line in "The Fool", a passage in the Dhammapada provided the inspiration for this blog.
In case people have been wondering where the daily posting titles have been coming from, they are all the names of passages from the Dhammapada, which is a collection of the Buddha's sayings. The translation that I enjoy the most is by Thomas Byrum as it is quite lyrical. Why you see a quote like the one starting one of my posts, that's where it's from.
My purpose of writing this blog is from the perspective of a fool who has realized he is a fool and is trying real hard to taste the soup and to help others do the same. More on the fool tomorrow.
This line in "The Fool", a passage in the Dhammapada provided the inspiration for this blog.
In case people have been wondering where the daily posting titles have been coming from, they are all the names of passages from the Dhammapada, which is a collection of the Buddha's sayings. The translation that I enjoy the most is by Thomas Byrum as it is quite lyrical. Why you see a quote like the one starting one of my posts, that's where it's from.
My purpose of writing this blog is from the perspective of a fool who has realized he is a fool and is trying real hard to taste the soup and to help others do the same. More on the fool tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Flowers
We can walk by flowers and appreciate their beauty or we can stop and cut them and put them in a vase and have fleeting enjoyment until the cat knocks them off the shelf and the dog eats them. This holiday season, we can enjoy window shopping and decorations, or we can buy for ourselves what we don't need and give others what they don't need. This time of year, we all tend to turn into hungry ghosts...the more we get, the more we want. We may talk about "the spirit" of the holidays. We may have every intention to help those less fortunate than ourselves, but unless we act on those intentions, they become fake flowers: beautiful, but with no fragrance. The cats may not knock them over, the dogs may not eat them, but we will not appreciate their scent and will not benefit from their authenticity.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Mind
"Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own thoughts, unguarded." - The Dhammapada
"If you're not first, you're last." - Ricky Bobby
Perfectionism, like most "isms" causes great harm. There is a difference between taking pleasure in doing well and being attached to doing well and allowing your happiness to be controlled by how others percieve how you perform.
I have a really fast dog. We like to play agility. When we make it through a course, we usually get first place. I make it through a course more often that not. The rest of the time it's usually a comedy of errors involving getting lost, knocking stuff over, forgetting the rules, getting barked at, not hearing buzzers telling me it's time to finish, etc.
I started playing agility as a way to have fun with my dog and to spend time with friends. When my dog's potential became clear, it turned into something else: Every run had to be perfect.
Never mind that there is no such thing as a perfect run. Never mind that even the best handlers often have lackluster performances. Never mind that the dog could care less how they do as long as they're spending time doing something they love.
Often I let my happiness be defined by the following criteria:
1. Whether we ran "clean"
2. Whether we got first place or not
3. Whether others noticed how well we did
4. Whether we ran without a single imperfection, even if criteria 1-3 got met
During the times that I held myself to these unrealistic criteria, would lose sight of the joy of running around with my dog and this would actually lead to worse performance.
I thought that there was something wrong with me and actually got a self-help book targeted to canine sports competitors (yes, there is actually that niche) and in reading this, I realized that perfectionism was indeed my problem.
Over time, I changed my way of thinking to focus on having fun with my dog, to using competition as a way to know what to work on when we practice, to appreciate when we do well, and to learn when we don't, and to define success differently.
We still have a smilar qualification rate as my dog and I still have things to work on together, but I am happier than I have ever been competing, and as a result, so is my dog.
I hope that in sharing this story that you, fair reader, can think of things in your life that perhaps if you changed your perspective, you could bring yourself comfort where now you are feeling pain.
"If you're not first, you're last." - Ricky Bobby
Perfectionism, like most "isms" causes great harm. There is a difference between taking pleasure in doing well and being attached to doing well and allowing your happiness to be controlled by how others percieve how you perform.
I have a really fast dog. We like to play agility. When we make it through a course, we usually get first place. I make it through a course more often that not. The rest of the time it's usually a comedy of errors involving getting lost, knocking stuff over, forgetting the rules, getting barked at, not hearing buzzers telling me it's time to finish, etc.
I started playing agility as a way to have fun with my dog and to spend time with friends. When my dog's potential became clear, it turned into something else: Every run had to be perfect.
Never mind that there is no such thing as a perfect run. Never mind that even the best handlers often have lackluster performances. Never mind that the dog could care less how they do as long as they're spending time doing something they love.
Often I let my happiness be defined by the following criteria:
1. Whether we ran "clean"
2. Whether we got first place or not
3. Whether others noticed how well we did
4. Whether we ran without a single imperfection, even if criteria 1-3 got met
During the times that I held myself to these unrealistic criteria, would lose sight of the joy of running around with my dog and this would actually lead to worse performance.
I thought that there was something wrong with me and actually got a self-help book targeted to canine sports competitors (yes, there is actually that niche) and in reading this, I realized that perfectionism was indeed my problem.
Over time, I changed my way of thinking to focus on having fun with my dog, to using competition as a way to know what to work on when we practice, to appreciate when we do well, and to learn when we don't, and to define success differently.
We still have a smilar qualification rate as my dog and I still have things to work on together, but I am happier than I have ever been competing, and as a result, so is my dog.
I hope that in sharing this story that you, fair reader, can think of things in your life that perhaps if you changed your perspective, you could bring yourself comfort where now you are feeling pain.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wakefulness
"Wakefulness is the way to life. The fool sleeps as if he was already dead..."
I have probably walked our dogs over a thousand times over the past several years. I was fully aware of the act of walking our dogs probably several dozen of those times. I was always thinking about the next thing and the next thing and the next thing or distracting myself with music. I was a zombie being walked by dogs, going through the motions of walking the dogs.
The dogs on the other hand could probably tell you what happened on every single one of those walks; where they went, the content of their daily "pee-mail" correspondence, who they met, places that were good to poop in, squirrel suicide zones and so forth. Dogs don't have filters. They're always on. You may think they are not paying attention to you, but really they are sometimes so absorbed in the moment, that they just let everything else wait. It's like having a flashlight on in the dark. You can illuminate only a small area at one time, but you are aware of everything around you.
I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves and those around us is to become as interested in living every moment of our lives as a dog is.
I have probably walked our dogs over a thousand times over the past several years. I was fully aware of the act of walking our dogs probably several dozen of those times. I was always thinking about the next thing and the next thing and the next thing or distracting myself with music. I was a zombie being walked by dogs, going through the motions of walking the dogs.
The dogs on the other hand could probably tell you what happened on every single one of those walks; where they went, the content of their daily "pee-mail" correspondence, who they met, places that were good to poop in, squirrel suicide zones and so forth. Dogs don't have filters. They're always on. You may think they are not paying attention to you, but really they are sometimes so absorbed in the moment, that they just let everything else wait. It's like having a flashlight on in the dark. You can illuminate only a small area at one time, but you are aware of everything around you.
I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves and those around us is to become as interested in living every moment of our lives as a dog is.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Choices
Every day we have the power to make some pretty powerful choices:
Speak or act with harmful intentions and trouble will follow you OR
Speak or act with good intentions and happiness will follow you
One evening, as I let our dogs out into the yard, there was a commotion followed by a strong chemical odor followed by the appearance (proceeded by their stench) of three newly skunked dogs. They chose to act agressively towards another animal and they paid for it. For 3 months.
Maebe, our lone female dog has a practice involving enticing neighborhood children to our fence so that they will throw a ball for her. She runs up to the fence with a ball in her mouth, pushes it through the fence slats, and sits patiently, waiting for the child to pick it up and throw it. She is filled with peace and joy and I believe the children respond to this as they invariably pick up the ball and throw it to her.
Get caught up in the injustices and indignities of every day life OR
Let go of your anger and live in peace
I bike to work pretty regularly. About a year ago, I was scolded by a fellow biker for breaking a traffic rule. My first reaction was to get mad, thinking that this guy was a self-righteous prick. I had fantasies that he would hit a pothole and fall into oncoming traffic. This caused me a fair amount of anguish for a number of reasons. First, of course I wouldn't really want that to happen, and so I then felt regret. Second, he was right in his message, even if I didn't appreciate thedelivery. I made a choice to let go of the anger I was feeling and instead focus on the message, which was "bike safely". This instantly lifted the negative feelings and I actually came to appreciate that moment.
Spend your time and energy pursuing things that don't matter OR
Spend your time and energy pursuing things that bring real joy and happiness
For years I pestered my wife for a Nintendo wii. It was going to change our lives. The games allowed you to be "active" during times when you would normally veg out in front of the television. The technology was new and exciting and when wii fit came out, that was the clincher. Now we can exercise all the time indoors. Last holiday season, I finally got my way. We did indeed enjoy the wii at first. A turning point was when I got my first "wii injury." You know, pulling something pretending to play a sport instead of actually playing it. I realized that as a fit and active person, it was more rewarding to do real exercise and participate in real activities. I thought I was solving the problem of what to do as an alternative to watching tv, but what I really did was find a different way to spend time in front of the television. What we ended up doing is turning off the tv all together and focusing on things that matter to us. That brought real joy and happiness and hasn't caused injury yet. We still use the wii on occasion, and we still can enjoy it, but it wasn't the be-all end all and I think that it is almost always the case that the right action when you really want something is to wait it out.
In conculsion, the choice is our's, we just need to be aware and to act according to our values.
Speak or act with harmful intentions and trouble will follow you OR
Speak or act with good intentions and happiness will follow you
One evening, as I let our dogs out into the yard, there was a commotion followed by a strong chemical odor followed by the appearance (proceeded by their stench) of three newly skunked dogs. They chose to act agressively towards another animal and they paid for it. For 3 months.
Maebe, our lone female dog has a practice involving enticing neighborhood children to our fence so that they will throw a ball for her. She runs up to the fence with a ball in her mouth, pushes it through the fence slats, and sits patiently, waiting for the child to pick it up and throw it. She is filled with peace and joy and I believe the children respond to this as they invariably pick up the ball and throw it to her.
Get caught up in the injustices and indignities of every day life OR
Let go of your anger and live in peace
I bike to work pretty regularly. About a year ago, I was scolded by a fellow biker for breaking a traffic rule. My first reaction was to get mad, thinking that this guy was a self-righteous prick. I had fantasies that he would hit a pothole and fall into oncoming traffic. This caused me a fair amount of anguish for a number of reasons. First, of course I wouldn't really want that to happen, and so I then felt regret. Second, he was right in his message, even if I didn't appreciate thedelivery. I made a choice to let go of the anger I was feeling and instead focus on the message, which was "bike safely". This instantly lifted the negative feelings and I actually came to appreciate that moment.
Spend your time and energy pursuing things that don't matter OR
Spend your time and energy pursuing things that bring real joy and happiness
For years I pestered my wife for a Nintendo wii. It was going to change our lives. The games allowed you to be "active" during times when you would normally veg out in front of the television. The technology was new and exciting and when wii fit came out, that was the clincher. Now we can exercise all the time indoors. Last holiday season, I finally got my way. We did indeed enjoy the wii at first. A turning point was when I got my first "wii injury." You know, pulling something pretending to play a sport instead of actually playing it. I realized that as a fit and active person, it was more rewarding to do real exercise and participate in real activities. I thought I was solving the problem of what to do as an alternative to watching tv, but what I really did was find a different way to spend time in front of the television. What we ended up doing is turning off the tv all together and focusing on things that matter to us. That brought real joy and happiness and hasn't caused injury yet. We still use the wii on occasion, and we still can enjoy it, but it wasn't the be-all end all and I think that it is almost always the case that the right action when you really want something is to wait it out.
In conculsion, the choice is our's, we just need to be aware and to act according to our values.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Welcome
Welcome,
I am just a guy in the midwest who has recently made it a daily practice to read a chapter of the Dhammapada before starting the day. I then share what resonates most to me with my wife and dogs, althrough my wife is the only one who seems to respond. Through this simple daily practice, I discovered that these daily readings and messages lead to great conversation and great insight. Through this blog I hope to share this experience with you and anyone who enjoys this end of the philosophical spectrum. I hope you find the postings to come to be comforting and life-affirming. Enjoy your time here. - Dharmaspoon Guy
I am just a guy in the midwest who has recently made it a daily practice to read a chapter of the Dhammapada before starting the day. I then share what resonates most to me with my wife and dogs, althrough my wife is the only one who seems to respond. Through this simple daily practice, I discovered that these daily readings and messages lead to great conversation and great insight. Through this blog I hope to share this experience with you and anyone who enjoys this end of the philosophical spectrum. I hope you find the postings to come to be comforting and life-affirming. Enjoy your time here. - Dharmaspoon Guy
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